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To: Yoko Miyata <yokomiyata@yahoo.com>
bcc: shong@MIT.EDU
Subject: Re: Someone's hurting deeply. 
In-reply-to: Your message of "Tue, 05 Oct 1999 03:30:23 PDT."
             <19991005103023.16470.rocketmail@web122.yahoomail.com> 
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Dear Yoko,

Please, know that I am in earnest as I write you, and am putting a lot of time 
and effort into trying to fully express myself to you.

I was somewhat shocked when I first saw your letter.  Dave happened to be with 
me (we'd spent the entire night & day together, and yes, we did have sex.  I 
don't know any better way to answer your questions than directly, but for what 
it's worth, i don't mind telling you that i didn't have an orgasm).  I was in 
a rush because of a meeting I was planning on attending, so I had only barely 
seen your letter before heading out.  i didn't get very far before i decided 
it (and other emails i'd received) seemed important and meaningful enough that 
I wanted to deal with them right away.  i told Dave you had written me, and 
asked him to wait so we could talk about things when I was ready.

Alone, I read and thought about what you'd written.  I had many reactions...

First I should tell you that I never doubted that I had to share everything 
with him.  i did want to respect your request and privacy, but you know it 
would have been deceitful and akin to lying if i had tried to hide it all from 
dave -- he is a more important part of all this than i am, after all.  If I've 
learned anything from all my fucked up relationships, it's that you've just 
got to be open and honest and direct, it's way too self-defeating not to be.  
At least,

Your letter saddened and touched me.  I have been in similar situations, and 
know how difficult it is  I am sympathetic both to you and to Dave
  and  confused, especially  I shared your letter with Dave

angry and frustrated

hopeful, strong.  I know that it can become a consuming, unproductive struggle

glad that you wrote me

